Procrastination, oh nemesis of mine. Procrastination might be the only habit of mine that I am not particularly proud of. To postpone the work to the very end and then get stressed and pull an all-nighter to complete it, sounds pretty illogical right? Well, that is what I tend to do. The exam week would be approaching, but instead of preparing for them beforehand, I’ll waste my time doing irrelevant stuff and then when the exams arrive I’ll find myself in a highly stressful environment which makes me hate the subjects I liked otherwise. Take the past semester itself: I had allowed a bunch of project work to pile up until the week before the exams, which had all the project deadlines, so the week before when everyone was studying for the exams, I was busy completing my projects and preparing for quizzes. All that did was that it kept me busy till April 28 and I had exams continuously from May 1 up til May 4. It was probably the only time I ever hoped that April had 31 days instead of 30.
Poor time management skills, I would say. But then, the same skills become super sharp when I am under pressure to perform. When I have to complete the entire syllabus in a day, or sometimes even less than that, I am able to do it without thinking of the amount of time I have been studying for. So, I guess the problem would be of not having foresight, or better, rather worse, not adhering to the actions that need to be taken in order to make the best out of the foreseen issue. Yes, that must be it. The subconcious realization that I can do it even if I start one day before doesn’t allow me, or rather discourages me, to start well in advance.
Even that wouldn’t be such a trouble if I actually utilized the time in which I am not preparing for exams for something productive. I end up wasting it for temporary pleasures, like watching a youtube video, listening to a song, watching an episode of a TV series; anything that will take my mind way from the impending doom, i.e. the upcoming exams and my lack of preparation for the same. That is something that I have to really work on, to start to look at the bigger picture,to prioritize my actions as per what really matters to me and not on the basis of what is more fun. I think my brain has now become habitual to me postoning my work till the end and watch a video instead and so that is my go-to response whenever any kind of not-so-urgent work presents itself. Habits, as you might have heard, are hard to alter. Well, one’s got to try!
You might ask, “Ish, I just saw your last post on your grades and you did pretty darn well! What is the problem then?”. Well, for once, I am looking at the bigger picture here, the larger goal, the goal that these grades will help me achieve. The goal being becoming a theoretical physicist and doing some original scientific research. To get to that, I will need to get a PhD first. That itself will be a 3-4 year journey towards learning how to do research and then making some original contributions to my field of choice. Now, the thing with research is, even though there is someone to guide you (generally called supervisor), you are pretty much on your own. You decide the problem, you find sufficient literature to understand it and you figure out how to solve it. Given the independence that research gives you (which is one of the things that attracted me to physics) you are also free to decide your schedule: when you work, when you sleep, what are your deadlines, etc. Now, given my struggles with procrastination, you see how my current habits can become a big problem in this pursuit. To do substantial research that can lead to worthy outcomes, I cannot afford to slag off, postpone actions, procrastinate, take it lite.
As I understand it, knowledge and hardwork are obviously two of the top qualities a good researcher must possess, but to add to that, two attributes which I think are more important would be discipline and perseverance. Knowledge can be acquired through hardwork, which is what college is for. But, discipline and perseverance cannot be taught; it has to be built from level zero. That is what I plan to do. I know I am hardworking, and to some extent exhibit a good amount of perseverance, but I have no self-control. Hence, discipline is a skill I need to acquire. Step-by-setp, one day at a time.
This calls for an action plan (as always). I need to build a schedule and stick to it, no matter what. I will leave in a few degrees of freedom to accomodate the uncertainty of life, but except that, my aim will be to follow it to the dot. I know that I will have to push myself to get things done at the start, but I’m hoping that as time goes on, I’ll become more accustomed to working by the rules and in a focussed manner. I will also be using some applications to help me through this, about which I will tell you once I have completed atleast 1 week without fail. Until then, wish me luck and hope for the best.